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I've been married for ten years. I'm no veteran, but have reached sort of an associate level of understanding. I have lived through some mistakes and learned valuable lessons. God has done amazing works through my wife and with me fromt time to time. I'd like to share some of the discoveries in hopes that it will increase your love for your spouse and also your love for your first husband, Jesus the Christ. There will be constant additions to this material.
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Demonstration of Committement
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Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery. (KJV)
Wedding vows are official. They are public. If a man puts away his wife, it must be made official. It must be made public. But realize that if you do this without there being fornication of some kind, you cause her to commit adultery when she remarries. Plus, you've just caused her new husband to do the same. This is a pretty serious situation.
The point being made is that it is worth every ounce of your energy and every waking hour of your praying day to sow into your marriage. Unless the damage of fornication has taken place give it everything you've got. This is the level of importance and focus a marriage should have. If we've publically made it known that we have dedicated our lives to each other, then we should live out the end of that adventure. There was a reason we took those vows and there's a reason to keep the fire alive and fight for the purpose God put you together for: to fulfill each other's dreams. Seriously.
Make her dreams come true, man. I'm sorry, but most of the responsibility and success of marriage is up to you. It begins on wedding day and reaches into eternity. It is not something that is easily or nonchalantly undone.
Adam Clarke said that "a Christian ought to beg of God the grace to bear patiently and quietly the imperfections of his wife, than to think of the means of being parted from her" (Adam Clarke's Commentary on the Bible).
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| When I'm near my wife, I realize I've recieved one of the greatest of my blessings already. | |
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Demonstration of Focus
Matthew 18:25
But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made. (KJV)
A wife is tied to the ultimate condition and choices of her husband. Debt owed by him can cost her dearly. It can cost the entire family. Financial debt is easy to link to this kind of phenomena, but spiritual debt is a major player as well. Debt is an obligation, and a maried man already has an obligation to his wife. He is obligated to place her needs before his own. This isn't something to take lightly and it isn't something that comes easy. It certainly is not automatic for these bodies to focus on delivering that premise. But the men set the pace in the household. That is not a thing of tradition, it is a thing of truth. | | |
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Writings 
